Essie's Blessings

This is Lola.

Lola is our youngest cat.  As you can see, she’s a fatty.

Lola would prefer it if you would call her “fluffy.”  She’s sensitive about the word “fat.”

But for all intents and purposes, she is fat.  You should see her waddle down the hall.

But for all the chub, she has a sweet personality and is oh, so soft.

She loves to cuddle, and will follow me around at night, hoping that I’m going to bed so she can tuck in with me.

Lola can find just about anywhere to tuck in, but her favorite place is the dining room table.

Especially if there’s piles of laundry sitting on it.

We love our Lola.

Fluff and all.

When Dan and I were engaged I dreamed of us having four children.  I thought it would be the perfect family-all even.  Of course, I dreamed that we’d have two boys and two girls.

I like things to be even.

When I got pregnant with Ethan, things came screaming to reality.  More like puking to reality.  I get sick when I’m pregnant.  Very, very sick.  I was sickest with Ethan, where I had to have a PICC line and home IV therapy.  I lost around 25 pounds with each pregnancy.

A good diet, if you forget about the bulimic part.

Then when it comes to labor and delivery, it’s no picnic for me either.  I don’t dilate–with Zach I had contractions two minutes apart and was barely two centimeters.  I’ve had three c-sections.

Pregnancy and delivery are such a problem for me that when we found out Emma was going to be a girl, we (more like I, but I like to include Dan in this…) decided we should have a more permanent method of birth control.  It was a good thing we did, too, because as my doctor was sewing me up after having Emma she recommended that I not have any more children, due to extensive scar tissue.

That was fine for me.  I’d much rather have the baby than the pregnancy.

The thing is, when Emma was born, our family felt so complete.  I had thought I was done after having Zach, but there still seemed to be a hole in the family.  Emma filled that hole.  I believe that it was God’s plan for us to have three children.

I think it’s beautiful how God has designed families.  Some families are perfect with only one child.  In some instances, that’s all the parents are able to have.  Some are perfect with two, three–some are perfect with eight or more children!  That’s the beauty in how God created the family.  He created each one unique, with its own special personalities.

I don’t believe that there’s any right size to a family.  I don’t think it’s wrong to have an only child, and I don’t think it’s wrong to have a big family with tons of kids.  God gives us discernment- and free will, for that matter- to choose how big our family is.

Am I saying it’s right to have an abortion if you have two children, and have a surprise “oops” pregnancy?  NO!!!  All life is God given, and is to be respected.  Those “oops” happen, and I think that’s just God’s way of showing that He’s the ultimate planner.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I love that verse.  We are here on earth, carrying out God’s plans.  He’s known since he knit me in my mother’s womb where I would be in life.  He knew I’d be a mother of three.  It was all in His plan.  God doesn’t love us less because we have three children instead of eight.  He loves us the same.

Size doesn’t matter.

From the time I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to have a family.  I knew I wanted to be a mom.  I dreamed of that moment someday.

All that time, God was there.

When I met Dan in college and we started dating, I was a normal young woman and dreamed of a wedding and then a family.  We fell in love, got engaged, got married, started a family.

All that time, God was there.

I worked in daycare while Dan was in Seminary.  When I got pregnant at the end of his 4th year, we knew that when we moved to his first call that I would be a stay-at home mom.  I didn’t want to work, and Dan felt it was important for me to stay home with our family.  I was blessed to be able to stay at home with all my children during their youngest years.

All that time, God was there.

We moved to Dan’s second call, and I watched my children grow.  Around the time Emma turned three, I knew that my life was changing.  My children were getting older.  I was no longer needed as much at home.  Money had always been tight.  So when an opportunity for me to work outside the home opened up, I took it.

All that time, God was there.

I worked at that first job for a year, and it blessed me so much.  Since it was an at-home daycare, I was able to still have Emma with me for much of the time.  Yet I was able to get out of the house, contribute to our finances, and still be a mom to my kids.

All that time, God was there.

I’ve almost been at the library for a year.  That job, too, has been a blessing.  Am I less of a mom because I work?  My answer would be an emphatic NO.  For me, I think I’m more of a mom because I work.  My kids are getting older, becoming more independent.  I’m no longer just a mom.  I have an identity all my own, and I enjoy that opportunity to get out and do what I love to do.

All that time, God IS there.

God is there all the time.  God is with you whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, if you went back to work when your babies were small, or if you went back to work once they were in school.  God blesses your decisions.  Are you less of a mother if your children are school-aged and you’re still a stay-at-home mom?  NO!  Are you less of a mom when you work a full time job, and your kids are in daycare?  NO!

All that time, God is there.

Yes.  My house is a mess.  Yes.  Laundry is piled up most of the time.  But because I’m working outside the home doing something that I love, I’m a happier person.  Because I’m working outside the home contributing to our family finances, our marriage has less stress.  And I know tons of stay-at-home moms that are just as busy–if not more busy–than I am.  The wonderful thing is that God blesses ALL of us.  He created us to be unique individuals.  He knows we all do our parts to contribute to society.

All that time, God is there.

Yesterday, on Mother’s Day, I kept thinking about all the wonderful mothers in my life.  Mothers as different as can be, but that blend together to make our world a better place.  No one has the right to say you’re a bad mom because you work, or a lazy mom because you stay at home.  No matter where you are in your mothering, God has placed you there for a reason.  He has been there all along, blessing you.  And he will continue to bless you, in all that you do.  And remember:

All that time, God is there.

One Spring in my Junior year of college, Dan and I traveled to visit his former college roommate in Mandan, North Dakota.  He was at his first teaching job, and they were having a big banquet and he invited us to come.

As college students loving a road trip, we were game to go.

It was a fun trip, and we had a great time.  The evening before we left, we got to thinking.  Mandan was just about directly north of the Black Hills in South Dakota.

Ok.  So it’s not directly north.  And it’s more than a five hour drive.  Whatever.  We were stupid kids.

We decided to leave early and go see Mount Rushmore.  We thought it would be a fun “side” trip.

And it was!  We saw Mount Rushmore, got some pictures, and headed back home.

Now comes the LONG drive.

We had to travel from Mount Rushmore to St. Paul, Minnesota.

Yeah.  That’s a long a** drive.  Over nine hours, to be exact.  We just didn’t realize it at the time.  Or we didn’t want to realize it.

We did ok for a while.  We stopped at Wall Drug, and were able to enjoy the Badlands before it got dark.  But when it got dark…

We got tired.  Very tired.  And the drive was taking a sweet forever.  We played loud music, we opened the windows.  We switched driving so one of us could sleep.  And fantasized about getting a hotel room and just getting back in the morning.

Problem: Dan had work and I had class.  Again: We were stupid.

We made it back somewhere between way-early:00 and I-am-so-not-making-it-to-class:30.  And yeah, Dan called in sick to work and I called in sick to class.

We’ve taken some long drives since, but this is the longest drive we’ve ever made in one day.  We’ve since grown up, and now know the value of planning long trips like that.  As for spontaneity, we reserve that for trips to DQ with the kids.