Hello, readers. If I have any readers left after my month long absence. What happened? Life happened.
I moved Dad to Wisconsin on January 23rd. The Saturday before that, Dan called to tell me he had received a call to St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Osseo, MN. I won’t tell you exactly what I said when he told me this, but I’ll bet you can gather that I wasn’t happy about it. Here I was, finally moving my Dad closer to me in Wisconsin, while Dan was deliberating whether or not we’d be moving back to Minnesota.
A week later, my Dad got very, very sick and ended up moving to a skilled nursing facility. He was so bad that at one point, I told him he had my blessing if he wanted to go to Heaven to be with Mom. I was looking at losing both of my parents in the span of six months, and it was very, very scary. To say that I was stressed would be putting it lightly!
And through all of this, Dan was deliberating the call to Minnesota. I went through the classic five stages of grief:
1. Denial and Isolation
I told people at church that I wasn’t going anywhere. I stopped talking to Dan, to the point where I would try not to be in the same room with him, and go to bed before he got home at night. I wasn’t a pleasant person.
Things got even more unpleasant. I blamed Dan for messing up my life. I blamed myself for moving my dad, and his subsequent illness. I lashed out at Dan in anger, and to be completely honest, even thinking about divorce. (Not that it was ever an option for me, but in my anger, I saw it as the only way out of this call.)
Oh, the bargaining. This was mostly with God, but had a lot to do with Dan, too. If we can just stay here I’ll…. you fill in the blank.
Did I mention I was unpleasant? I certainly was. I would have to say I hit the rock bottom while my dad was sick. I sat by his bedside for two days, praying to God about his illness and Dan’s call. I cried most of the day.
I would have to say that Dad’s illness was probably a blessing to me. After those two days of prayer, I began feeling peace. Peace with the call, peace knowing everything would be ok if we stayed, but it would be ok if we went, too. Dan visited the congregation, and I found myself excited to find out how it went. I went from digging my heels in to looking at real estate websites. It’s amazing to look back and see how God worked on my stubborn heart. And He really did. The night I told Dan I would support him if he accepted the call–and that I wanted him to accept–I could feel his tremendous relief.
Ultimately, Dan accepted the call. We are in the thick of the moving process. I’ve got a job at Target in Minnesota waiting for me, and we have signed the lease on our beautiful rental house. The movers are booked and we’re packing like crazy. We’ve made 8 trips to Goodwill and trips to the dump. I move my dad again on March 25th, and he’s excited about it, and doing better than ever. Life is changing.
We never know the plan that God has for us. I had no idea this was His plan for us. But we’re excited, and I can’t wait to see how His plan unfolds for the future.