Oh, those Pastor’s kids.

I’m not a big fan of Children’s messages at church.  Let me rephrase that:  Since having children, I’m not a big fan of Children’s messages at church.  Let me share why:

Scene:  the front of church, during a Children’s message.  Characters:  Dan, the pastor, our son, Ethan (around 3 years old), and a few other children.  Ethan sits close to Dan, as he usually does.  I see Ethan fiddling with Dan’s cincture (the belt that goes around his vestments), but don’t think much of it.  He’s behaving, so I’m not going to get worried.  Plus I’m dealing with Zach in the pew beside me, so I don’t have much time to think about it.  Dan finishes the message, dismisses the children, and as he stands up, he jerks back down.  He can’t get up.  The congregation is giggling, but I don’t know why, because I’ve been busy with Zach.  I look up, and realize that the reason Dan couldn’t stand up is because ETHAN TIED HIM TO THE COMMUNION RAIL.    Yes, folks, that’s the Pastor’s Son!  (Dan had to announce the next hymn and then spend the first verse untying himself.)

Fast forward five years.  The scene is again the front of a church, except now that church is a neighboring one where we live, where I play organ.  It’s Mother’s Day, and since Dan is on vacation he and the kids are worshipping in the pew while I’m accompanying the service.  The pastor is a great friend of ours, and all three of our kids are up at the Children’s message.  They’re behaving, thankfully, and then the pastor asks a question.  My dear, sweet Emma, age 3 (what is it about age 3???) raises her hand.  Pastor Ruesch calls on her, and she says, at top volume, “MY DADDY HAS A BB GUN.  HE LIKES TO SHOOT THE DOG WITH THE BB GUN.”  Oh.  Mah.  Lord.  I wanted to crawl away.  Yes, folks, that’s the Pastor’s Daughter! (He doesn’t really.  He pretends to shoot the dog, but he never has BBs in it.  And I don’t like it when he does that, because, well, obviously kids talk.)

And that’s why I don’t like Children’s messages.  Can you blame me?

Write about a time your child embarrassed you in public.
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8 Responses to Oh, those Pastor’s kids.

  1. Nikki says:

    I’m here from the Writer’s Workshop and this is so funny. I laughed out loud at your daughter telling about the BB gun. My kids in front of church always make me so nervous.

  2. Diane says:

    LOL! I don’t blame you one bit! Thanks so much for the giggles!

  3. Betsy says:

    I’m now very thankful that we do not have children’s messages in our church! There’s no telling what my little monsters would do/say up there… especially since their own dad (my husband) or pawpaw (my dad) would be the one giving the message.

  4. Wade's World says:

    Love it!! Kids come up with the funniest stuff, especially if it embarasses their parents!

  5. Jenney says:

    Last Christmas Eve LMM (I know, shocker who did it right?) started punching the other children as they all gathered around the pastor up front to hear the Christmas story. The older boys thought it was funny so he started being more and more brazen about it till I had to go up and pull him off stage.

  6. I found this from the writers prompt and just had to comment. I laughed out loud about your son tying your husband to the rail! I’m sure my parents are glad our church didn’t have children’s services because who knows what us PKs would have gotten into. The only time us kids were on stage my brother, 3at the time, crawled over and kissed the little girl next to him!

  7. MamaBear says:

    I thought of you when Julia played Church the other day – I giggled when she got to the children’s sermon. 🙂

    Have a lovely Memorial Day tomorrow!

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